I Identify As...

As a kid, I grew up as the middle child of two middle-class parents. My mom and dad were both schoolteachers. My mom stayed at home when we were little and bought additional years so she could retire with my dad, who coached and taught driver's training to help make ends meet. We had to log information on our lone rotary phone to track our expensive long-distance calls. We had to get permission to eat ice cream or drink pop because it was a special treat. They didn't buy me a car. When I needed shoes or jeans without holes in the knees or a new baseball glove, I got it, but I didn't get spoiled; that's for sure. I shared a bedroom with my brother most of my youth, and the whole family shared the one full bathroom. I played outside and worked to purchase my own bike. I got good grades, went to a local college so I could save money and live at home, worked all through school to help pay my debts (I bought my own first car and paid it off before I graduated), and graduated with honors. 

Then, after about 25 years of my own teaching career, I found out I had white privilege. I was told I have microaggressions, unconscious biases, systemic racism, and misogynistic tendencies. I was told I should pay reparations and that I am an evil colonizer. I thought I grew up in a country home, learning how to work hard, respect people, have good manners, be honest, and take responsibility for myself. I found out my masculinity is toxic, and I'm racist because I'm white. 

I've also learned people are easily triggered, words are violence, people need safe spaces, and feelings matter much more than science (unless they are my feelings, which don't matter at all). And if people say they are someone or something else, I need to respect their imagination and go along with it. So I decided to make my own identity.

First off, I decided to identify as Keanu Reeves...but only for the Matrix movies. I feel strongly that it was me in the movies, and since estimates suggest Keanu Reeves made 300 to 380 million dollars for the series, I can next identify as a multi-millionaire. I'd prefer to identify as a Florida resident living on South Ocean Boulevard on Palm Beach. I've chosen a home that once sold for $170 million as my place of lodging. I feel like I live there, and I feel like I can afford it with my movie revenue. When I attempt to get past the gate into the community, not only should all my neighbors and the security guards accept who I am, but they should also celebrate it and label any skepticism as phobic, racist, and misogynistic (I don't know why, but that would only be fair).

I imagine myself bored in that state of being, and my property taxes and homeowner's insurance would be astronomical. Plus, I'd hate to be strapped with the responsibility of being crazy generous with my money like Keanu Reeves. I'd rather be a professional basketball player anyway. 

I've decided to play in the NBA. This is tricky, however. I'm only 5'7", so I need to first identify as a different height, and since I'm 64 years old, I'll need to identify as a different age. And since all of my favorite basketball players are black, I think it's obvious I'll be black too. So, I was thinking 6'9", 240 pounds of muscle and athleticism, and 24 years of age would all be advantageous to my playing career. That's who I decided to be next. Of course, I'd have to try out for the team, but I should easily make it once the NBA knows I'll file for age and height discrimination if I don't. And obviously, if anyone disagrees with the race I identify with, they are racist, and I can be the catalyst for a court trial proving the NBA is racist. They should enforce race quotas, and everyone should agree with me because it's my truth.  

I would also like to identify as a bald eagle, mostly because it would make me immune to almost every law except the ones that would protect my rights at the cost of everyone else's. And since I've spent my whole life trying to be kind and courteous to others, being respectful, honest, and self-responsible, I'd like to end that now and identify as some of the most annoying things on earth. I'd like to identify as a string, rope, or chord. That way I can tangle myself up into the most annoying knots anyone has ever dealt with. Or I might be a stoplight, so I can make cars sit still on the road when they're in a hurry, while no cars pass in any other direction. Or I'd like to identify as a smoke alarm, so I can start beeping in the middle of the night when I decide it's time to change my battery. 

I know what else would be fun. I could identify as a salt shaker. I would clog my holes so no salt can come out, and then when someone cleans the clogs, I could pour out like there are no holes at all. I might as well be a ketchup bottle too, holding off all attempts to pour ketchup out and then releasing half of my contents all at once. I've considered identifying as a zipper too. Getting caught halfway up or down would frustrate my users, and speaking of frustration, I'd like to be a shopping cart with one wheel that I would refuse to roll. I might be a picture frame that never hangs level to annoy anyone with OCD. And if I really want to be annoying, I could identify as a copy machine that has paper jams on every print attempt, or I could be keys, glasses, or a cell phone. I could spend every moment playing hide-and-seek. 

                                     

Next, I considered that if I could be creative, there must be some people out there who also identified as creative things. Not surprisingly, I was correct. One person claimed she was a sovereign citizen who "doesn't legally exist," thus exempting her from taxes, laws, and arrest. Another claimed to be a reincarnated Medieval king with authority over the city council. He tried to issue royal decrees during a municipal meeting. Another claimed to be a celestial archangel with diplomatic immunity. She informed police officers that arresting her was a violation of interdimensional treaties. Another claimed to be a time-traveling wizard from 2077, and he claimed modern society was too primitive to understand the magic he was unable to produce. One man said he was a dragonkin with territorial rights over a public park and insisted joggers were trespassing on his lair. One creative woman argued she was a non-corporeal vapor being, so she shouldn't have to pay rent because vapor cannot occupy space. Another said he was a sentient plant who shouldn't have to work. He claimed employment was species discrimination. One man said he was a fictional anime character and demanded coworkers refer to him by the character's name and treat him as if he had powers. 

Incredibly, there are more. One man claimed to be a sentient traffic cone and demanded people stop trying to get him to move because it violated his right to remain stationary. Another man claimed to be a living vending machine and required people to insert emotional currency before speaking to him. One said she was a professional ghost. She insisted coworkers pretend not to see her during meetings. Another man said he was a sovereign houseplant who demanded sunlight rights and protection from unauthorized watering. Another man said he was a human smoke detector, and he insisted on beeping loudly during arguments (I hadn't thought of that when I identified as a smoke detector). Another man claimed to be a water fountain and demanded people toss coins at him before asking favors. One lunatic said he was a human paper shredder, and he insisted on destroying negativity by making loud shredding noises. 

The trouble with all of this blog is that it's a lie. I didn't make up the crazy people who think they're someone or something else, but I wasn't intellectually honest when I suggested a person can randomly decide to be someone or something they clearly aren't. Truth isn't about feelings, hopes, and dreams. Truth is about facts, reality, and common sense. A person can say he or she is something he or she really isn't, but it doesn't change facts, science, and truth. I may wish, believe, or demand I was younger, taller, richer, a possessor of darker skin, or a best-selling author with a #1 best-seller, but the truth is, I'm not (actually, I was for a day--twice).

I feel God made me special. I'm a white, Christian, male, son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, teacher, writer, athlete, reader, and friend. I'm 5'7" tall and 64 years old. I'm not rich, but I'm blessed. People can see me and know me. Maybe I can make myself into someone or something else, but I can't imagine it into truth. I have to identify with the truth. 

Why People Dislike LeBron James

LeBron James is a great basketball player—one of the greatest of all time. Anyone who disagrees with that statement can't be taken seriously. But he's also one of the most polarizing of all time, so many fans of the NBA, who have common sense and a genuine respect for James's ability and career, find they dislike him. I want to give reasons why. 

1. This is unfair to LeBron, but one reason is that he is an athletic and physical freak of nature. You've heard this: "Of course he's good. He's bigger and faster and stronger than everyone else." Well, so was Wilt Chamberlain, Bo Jackson, and Lawrence Taylor. Envy and jealousy aren't particularly good reasons not to like someone, and it disregards the work great athletes put in to hone their craft. There are better reasons not to like LeBron, but there is no denying this is one of them.

2. LeBron has self-declared he's the greatest basketball player of all time. In a 2018 interview, LeBron referenced the Cleveland Cavaliers' come-from-behind championship in 2016, and he said that moment "made me the greatest of all time." At the 2022 All-Star Game, he doubled down about the 2016 comeback and said, "At that moment, I was like, I'm the greatest basketball player people have ever seen." In a Time magazine article, he stated there was "no question" he was the greatest. Well, there is a question about that, and though I'm sure many athletes over the ages have believed and expressed they felt they were the greatest—Muhammad Ali, for instance—I don't recall anyone else wearing patches on his or her uniform proclaiming it or being vain enough to use @KingJames as his social media handle.

3. LeBron made it to the NBA finals ten times in fourteen years...nine times in ten years. That is a testament to his greatness (and possibly to the weak NBA East), but it created fatigue for the viewers who became tired of watching him.

4. His political activism turned a lot of fans off. 

There have been many instances, but I'm going to focus on two. The "Black Lives Matter" activism is one, and I'm going to ignore the belief the organization is a scam because it seems like money is mismanaged, diverted, and stolen in nearly all organizations. What bothers NBA fans is that 80% of NBA players are black, and we love them. I was thinking about my favorite NBA players over nearly six decades, and I came up with only two white players who were among my favorites. If there ever was a place where black lives matter, it is the NBA. I know...LeBron wasn't talking about the NBA, but the reason he is popular and well-known is because of the NBA—a place where the average American goes to get away from politics and doesn't feel racism—to watch great athletes compete. We love sports. We often hate politics. We don't want politics in our sports.

The second instance I will focus on is James's support of Communist China. In October of 2019, Houston Rockets GM, Daryl Morey, posted a tweet supporting Hong Kong civil rights protesters. China reacted by suspending broadcasts and pulling out of sponsorships, which financially impacted the NBA (and LeBron James). LeBron criticized Morey. Since LeBron often spoke out about human rights injustices in the U.S.—and it was factual that Chinese citizens experience civil rights injustices—it looked like James placed his financial interests above human interests. Many people saw that as hypocrisy, and they don't like him for it.

 

5. Fans don't like how James has "chased championships" by switching teams (four times now) and assembling all-star lineups to improve his chances. This has nothing to do with how great a player he is, but it begs comparison to the other players who are perceived as the greatest players of all time. Jabbar, Chamberlain, and Oscar Robertson played on more than one team, but they were traded. Michael Jordan played on two teams, but he came out of retirement as the Wizards' president of basketball operations and part-owner to play on a poor team. The others? Duncan, Magic, Bird, Thomas, Russell, Havicek, West, Kobe, Curry, Olajuwon—they played their entire careers with one team. Shaq floated around some, but people loved his personality, so he seems to have a free pass. One thing none of the other greats did, however, is have a prime-time television special to announce how they were leaving their hometown team to chase a championship. And how many championships did he say he would win in Miami? "Not one...not two...not three...not four...not five...not six...not seven..." Well, he won two with the super team that was created for him, and then he left Miami too. 

6. The last reason I'll mention has to do with his play—his traveling and flopping. 

https://www.tiktok.com/@__bigjoe__/video/7658560536153574687

This is a sampling. There are worse examples. 

LeBron James will be 42 years old in December of 2026, and he'll be playing in his 24th season. He's had arguably the greatest career of any professional basketball player in history, and millions of fans will argue as a player, he is the GOAT (greatest of all time). Others will disagree, and it's not just because they feel someone is greater. It's because they have great reasons not to like him. 

The Courthouse and A.I.

It was 2010. I had one novel under my belt, Loving the Rain. I didn't expect people to like it, but the consistent response was that I should write another one. I decided to use the same two characters, a father and son with parapsychological abilities. I had an idea about Clay Thomas meeting a woman on a train. The town eight miles east of where I lived at the time was known for its train depot, so that's where I started my research. I found out about a famous historical train wreck in that town, where a train carrying a traveling circus (including many circus animals) was struck by a second engine. Performers and animals were killed, the animals were buried along the tracks, and the unidentified performers were buried in a local cemetery. I also learned the depot was supposed to be haunted. I drove to the town and visited the depot, where they gave me printed materials, took me on a tour, and told me ghost stories. I learned more about the train wreck, and a story started to form in my mind. 

I drove around town, often getting stuck waiting for trains at railroad crossings, and I used a map to make my description of the town factual and realistic. But what was most difficult for Skeleton Key was figuring out the forensics for my murder victim. After much effort, I finally got connected with the county coroner for my town, and he was kind and patient enough to help me figure out how my victim died and how the forensic evidence, seven years after the fact, could prove it. I also had to talk to an attorney friend to figure out other technical plot elements. One year later, I wrote Bulletproof and experienced almost the exact same issues.

But now...I use A.I. I don't use it to write my book. I use it to research it. And there's practically nothing I can't ask about. In my latest novel, The Courthouse, I still visited the county archives and spoke with the archivist. And I visited our courthouse and was taken on a tour by the deputy mayor. I still accumulated some paperwork, took notes, and took pictures. I still did some internet research. For instance, I was directed to a woman to talk to her about the ghosts in the courthouse, but she was very ill and passed away before I could talk to her. However, I found a YouTube video where she explained everything I needed to know. I also spoke to a former judge about a few details concerning my court trial. Other than that, I used A.I. 

I didn't drive around town. I asked ChatGPT for pictures, maps, and descriptions, and that's how I chose my neighborhoods. I asked so many questions about court trials that I could write ten blogs. I asked for countless pictures so I could visualize places and things without leaving my desk. I asked about police procedures, elections, laws, psychology and personality disorders, guns, DNA, the Army, ravens, a local park, and local restaurant menus. But second to trial and law questions, I asked mostly about forensics. I didn't need my personal pathologist. I simply asked hundreds of questions on ChatGPT.

For those of you who have experienced A.I. research, some of my experiences might ring true. I began to talk to ChatGPT like we had a relationship. Sometimes, it was give and take. I'd tell it my plot ideas and ask questions. It would give suggestions or facts. I'd narrow things down or make corrections, and I'd get something new. Sometimes the responses were totally off course, and I'd tell ChatGPT to listen to me. I'd say, "I already told you that" or "No, you're wrong. That can't be true because of A, B, or C." It would respond with an apology, or it would thank me, or it would tell me my ideas were fantastic. ChatGPT stroked my ego regularly. 

Sometimes the A.I. would summarize my requests and ask if it should proceed. I'd have to give permission. Sometimes it would remember things we'd already chatted about and tell me I was really developing great plans. Often, it would ask me what tone I wanted, and it would volunteer to write my scene. I found myself explaining several times that I'd write my own scenes. I just wanted research or technical help. 

When I was done, it helped create designs for my cover. And then I had an idea. I wondered what my main characters looked like. So, I described them to the best of my ability, and then I asked for a few revisions, and Reese Carlton and Ashvi Patel showed up. 

 

I keep all of my notes for each book in a folder. What I've found fascinating is that my latest novel has by far the most written and printed notes. One would think it would be just the opposite, but A.I. made me think more...plan better...revise more. It made me reorganize more, and it helped me do better. People always ask me what my best book is or what my favorite book is. That's a nearly impossible question to answer, but now maybe I'd say The Courthouse. Check it out.  Link to The Courthouse